One of my biggest surprises when I first started speaking about career issues on college campuses was the number of students who asked me questions about work/life balance.

College women (and more than a few men) as early as their freshman year were asking me about how to build a career that would enable them to have flexibility for child rearing, service projects, travel or other pursuits.

When I started my own career in the late 1990s, I can honestly say that balance was not on my radar screen. I had the belief that the early years of my career should be spent working long, hard hours and building my experience and contacts. (Mind you, this was during the heady dot-com glory days of Generation X, so we all had a secret belief that maybe we’d hit it big and retire early on our dot com millions anyway.)

Whether it’s increased media attention to the topic of balance, the fact that the majority of Gen Ys grew up with working moms, the long-lasting “What does it all mean?” effect of 9/11 or other factors, attitudes about balance among young people have definitely changed. Work/life balance is now a Gen Y career issue whether older workers are surprised by this fact or not.

If you’re a young professional wanting a career with balance, here are some suggestions:

1. Get clear on your priorities. While I want you to have it all, I also have enough experience to know that compromises are often necessary, especially when you’re just starting out. For instance, when I first launched my own business, I had a ton of flexibility and freedom, but I was also making less money and had to pay for my own health insurance. That was a compromise I was willing to make because independence was my number one priority.

2. Be realistic. A major complaint I hear from entry-level recruiters is that Gen Ys feel entitled to flexibility and vacation time from day one of a new job. This isn’t always reasonable. Most jobs really do need you to be there all day, every day, at least during the first several months when you are learning the ropes. You can certainly ask about flexible hours or time off when interviewing for a job, but be realistic about how soon you might be able to take advantage of such policies.

3. Do your homework. There are still many industries where balance is just not part of the culture (investment banking and law being the prime examples). While there has been some movement in these industries (for example, law firms considering a project fee model rather than billable hours), the reality is that an entire industry is not going to change its culture overnight. Do your research to find out whether a particular industry is known for a lack of balance and stay away if balance is at the top of your list of career priorities.

4. Create pockets of balance. Finally, remember that balance doesn’t have to be “given” to you. Even if you’re working hard and have a demanding boss, you can find ways to integrate your personal needs with your professional ambition. Even small moments can add up to more happiness. For instance, you can take a gym class during your lunch break, go for a brief walk around the block each afternoon and listen to your favorite music, walk over and chat with a friendly colleague or join an internal community service group that does charity work. These types of activities will give you a respite in a busy day and may end up boosting your career prospects as well.

Are you a Gen Y who has found a good work/life balance? Please share your tips and stories!

Here is an excerpt of my letter:

As I read Robin Marantz Henig’s discussion of 20-somethings, I was struck by the sense that the new life stage she was ascribing to this generation could actually be something that adults of all ages experience today: feeling unstable, struggling with ferocious competition for jobs, wondering if our relationships and finances can go the distance.

I consider it progress that every young person doesn’t feel the need to complete school, leave home, marry and have a child by a certain deadline. There is no “one size fits all” adulthood…

Read the rest of the letter here.

What did you think of Marantz Henig’s article? Please share your thoughts!

When did the Baby Boomers mantra “Don’t trust anyone over 30” turn into “Don’t trust anyone under 30”?

Why, during the worst economy in over 60 years, would anyone tell our youngest workers—our future leaders—that they are “not special” and “woefully unprepared”? If we said this about any other type of worker, it would be discrimination. Why is it okay to bash young workers?

I acknowledge that many Millennials (those born in the 1980s and 90s) are not as prepared as previous generations when it comes to some very important areas of work, such as writing skills and professionalism. I would argue in return that they are significantly more prepared in such very important areas as technology and globalization.

And yes, many young workers like to change jobs frequently. But this is a natural and understandable result of growing up in a time of unprecedented economic expansion, the dot com revolution and rounds upon rounds of corporate downsizings. Millennials know they’ll never work at one company for 30 years and retire with a gold watch. They’re not disloyal; they’re realistic. And, when they find a company that has adapted to the new realities of the workforce, such as Zappos.com, they do stay.

It’s important for a news outlet like MSNBC to report that younger workers have been especially hard hit in the economic downturn. It’s another thing entirely to basically blame it on the young workers. Criticizing Millennials is a total waste of time and energy. Instead of disparaging the young people quoted in the article, why not offer them some tips to land jobs, or balance the piece with some stories of Millennials who are succeeding despite the recession?

Most of the organizations I know that employ Millennials have some complaints. But, those employers tell me, once they provide some coaching and adapt their training and management practices a bit, they are generally thrilled with the productivity, creativity and hard work of their young workers. I’ve seen the same with the Gen Ys I know and work with.

I’ve seen:

young people, like Marissa Davis, who are starting organizations to solve social problems

young people, like BusinessWeek’s best entrepreneurs of 2008, who are starting profitable ventures

young people, like Aaron Schock, who are running for Congress — and winning

young people, like Nuzhat Karim, who are working diligently to contribute to the success of their employers.

What is the point of this rant? It’s this: I challenge anyone who wants to criticize young workers to do three things:

1) Talk to a Millennial and ask that young person how he or she sees the world.

2) Tell that Millennial how you see the world.

3) Repeat.

Stop bashing Generation Y. We’re all in this together.