By Lindsey Pollak

We tend to think of negotiation skills when it comes to situations such as agreeing to a salary for a new job, finalizing a contract with a new client or haggling price with a car dealer. These are all important situations that require skill, but the reality is that we are negotiating all the time in both our personal and professional lives. Negotiation is a daily practice.

This can be problematic for anyone who hates to negotiate or feels uncomfortable in even semi-confrontational situations. While I know plenty of men who don’t like to negotiate, it’s far more common for women to feel this way. According to Lois Frankel and Carol Frohlinger, authors of the new book Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It: 99 Ways to Win the Respect You Deserve, the Success You’ve Earned, and the Life You Want, the reason for this is that many women fall into the societal trap of believing that being “nice” is more important than getting the things we want. According to the authors of another book, Women Don’t Ask, 2.5 times more women than men said they feel “a great deal of apprehension” about negotiating.

What can women do to be better at negotiating? In Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It, Frankel and Frohlinger offer 99 strategies for being a “winning woman” in all aspects of life. (Full disclosure: I contribute to the blog ThinPinkLine.com with Frankel and Frohlinger and consider them both friends and mentors. And — although I’ll never admit which one — an anecdote in the book is based on me!)

What I love about this book is the way the authors give incredibly specific tactics and strategies for achieving small and large goals in every aspect of life, ranging from convincing a waiter to take back a dish to telling a friend you’re not available for free babysitting to getting selected for desirable work projects.

Here are three of my favorite tips, which are valuable for both “nice girls” and “nice boys,” particularly those just starting out in the workforce:

Realize you have more options than you think. If you’re feeling stuck in a situation minor or major (e.g., you’re not sure how to word a tough email, how to handle a difficult boss or what job to pursue next), Frankel and Frohlinger point out that many people don’t see the many choices that lie before us. Since “we don’t know what we don’t know,” they recommend enlisting a friend or mentor to help you identify alternatives that you didn’t think of on your own.

Pick the right method, time and place for difficult conversations. One of the characteristics I’ve noticed in a lot of Millennials is the lack of experience having tough conversations face-to-face. There are just so many ways to avoid confrontation these days (like breaking up via text!). However, those who get ahead and get what they want are the people who don’t shy away from difficult conversations. I firmly agree with Frankel and Frohlinger, who state that “face-to-face can be scary, but it’s almost always best, because you’ll be able to observe [the other person’s] body language.” How can you become more comfortable with this? The authors advise the simple act of practicing with a trusted friend.

Lead from where you are. Entry-level recruiters and grad school admissions officers frequently tell me that leadership is one of the most important qualities a candidate can possess. This can cause a lot of anxiety, especially for shy people, but, as Frankel and Frohlinger assert, “contrary to popular belief, there aren’t ‘born’ leaders.” Their advice is to learn leadership skills by becoming a student of leadership, such as learning how others have led successfully by observing their behavior and reading great books on the topic. Small leadership acts can lead up to large leadership responsibilities in a shorter time frame than you might think.

I hope you’ll check out Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It and discover the other 96 strategies in this very helpful and timely book. If you do, please share your favorite tips and tactics!

This week’s post is a Q&A session with Nate Whitson from Intern Match. As you’ll see, Nate shares some valuable tips and pointers on getting, keeping and making the most of internships.

1. How has the internship world changed over the past 5 to 10 years?

The value and importance of internships have changed in many ways over the last 10 years. First, internship experience has evolved from simply a resume booster to essentially a pre-requisite for landing an entry-level job.

Second, the popularity has increased. In fact, the number of internships taken by students has increased over 8-fold in the last 10 years, and internships are now the #1 way in which employers are hiring students.

Because of this increase in importance, internships have become much more competitive in the past decade. Career changers, graduate students and even high school students all compete for the same positions.  This means that looking for positions early and often in college is essential.

2. A lot of recent grads are taking unpaid internships after they graduate. Can you discuss this trend and whether you think this is a good choice for a recent grad who can’t find a full-time, paid position?

In the current economy, recent graduates are having a hard time finding jobs and are willing to do just about anything to get a foot in the door.  At the same time, other employees who are being laid off are trying to break into new industries — and at times are offering their services as unpaid interns.  This means businesses are seeing applications from a variety of qualified candidates who are willing to work for free.

There are a lot of problems with this.  Unpaid internships can be exploitative, and they exclude those students and graduates who need to support themselves with a wage.  They are also illegal in some circumstances.

That being said, considering an unpaid internship as a recent grad depends on the individual and the opportunity.  For example, some non-profits or startups simply cannot afford to pay, but offer a highly educational experience that may be worth taking (in fact until this year, White House internships were unpaid). My recommendation is to keep an open mind, but be cautious of organizations looking to exploit over-eager job seekers.  Part-time unpaid opportunities are frequently a better decision.

3. What are some ways to get the most out of an internship?

The first step of any internship is proving your salt – turn work in on time, keep a positive and professional attitude, and make yourself a valued member of the team.

Throughout the internship, develop a broad understanding of how the organization works, what skills different employees have that make them valued, and talk to your co-workers about their jobs and how they got there.  Networking is more powerful when combined with a sincere interest in your co-workers’ career paths.  Also, focus in on learning industry-specific software tools, like Salesforce for a sales internship, or QuickBooks for an accounting internship.  This experience is something that is not taught in school.

4. How can people turn an internship into a full-time job?

Turning an internship into a job is a matter of proving your commitment to the organization and going the extra mile — even on small tasks (all organizations have grunt work, and showing that you are committed regardless of the task helps prove that you are indispensible).

Also, staying in touch with your boss after the position is over is a great way to convert internships into jobs.  Connect with co-workers on LinkedIn, try to assist the organization in finding their next intern and write a positive article or blog post in your school newspaper or department blog about the experience.

5. Can you share some tips and tricks about the intern hiring process?

Having a great resume is essential.  You can view our sample internship resume here, and know that highlighting past work experiences in a quantitative manner helps a resume standout.

Getting hired also means marketing yourself.  Develop a professional persona that you use in all of your applications.  Create a LinkedIn account that includes a professional picture. Make this picture the same as your Facebook picture (as long as it’s professional), and print out business cards.

The easiest and most often overlooked tactic that makes a major difference in the hiring process is following-up.  Send a kind follow-up email the day after your interview.  If it was an in-person interview, send a hand-written “thank you” note.  Small personal touches will make you stand out.

Thank you to Nate for answering my questions today. What additional questions do you have about internships?

They are nothing short of global epidemics. Over 81 million young people are unemployed worldwide. In the U.S. nearly 20% of young people are unemployed–with millions more underemployed–and in countries such as Spain, the youth unemployment rate is as high as 40%. The fact is that the mantra of “work hard, get good grades and go to school to get a job” is dead and antiquated. Young people must leave the resume-handout mindset behind and learn to become self-sufficient entrepreneurs that are capable of generating their own incomes. I believe this is an achievable goal.
2.  What do you consider a “real” job, and why do you encourage young people to avoid it?

A “real” job is one where you work for another individual and see no real value or upside from the work product you produce–or a place that forces you to put all of your eggs into one basket that you are neither holding nor own. In today’s new economy, where layoffs, hiring freezes, automation and corporate greed have become commonplace terms, I think it is unwise to rely on anyone but yourself when it comes to something as vital as your livelihood. To avoid the need for a “real” job, young people need to build simple, unoriginal, unsexy businesses that are capable of generating immediate revenue and can be built over time. We must stop thinking about building the next Facebook and start actually building the next tutoring service or plumbing company.
3.  What is the biggest challenge young entrepreneurs face, and how do you suggest overcoming it?

Young entrepreneurs need to kill their egos. Reality check: your business will probably not become the next Groupon. The “rich by 30″ mentality is setting us back and pushing us down the path of launching start-ups built on nothing more than hopes and dreams. Plain and simple, this is stupid and will bankrupt us. We need to get real–fast–or be doomed to become a lost, foolhardy generation.

4.  What advantages, if any, do Millennials have over other entrepreneurs?

We are the most technologically savvy generation in history and we usually have the ability to scale our lifestyles down to the bare bones necessities. These abilities allow us to create low-budget, minimal infrastructure start-ups with relative ease.

5.  What is your #1 piece of advice for young entrepreneurs?

Be afraid, but not afraid to fail. Failure is GOOD! Be afraid to have never failed. Be afraid to look back on your life and see nothing but dead-end jobs and regrets in your past.
Scott Gerber is a serial entrepreneur, angel investor, media personality, public speaker and the most-syndicated young entrepreneurship columnist in the world. He is the founder and CEO of Gerber Enterprises and founder of the Young Entrepreneur Council. Scott is also the author of the book, Never Get a “Real” Job.

Top 10 Job Hunting Tips of 2010

I absolutely love end of year lists, and swooned when I found Time.com’s list of The Top 10 of Everything of 2010.

Although Time’s list of lists is pretty comprehensive, ranging from apologies to new species to Twitter moments, I wanted to add my own top 10 list — top 10 tips for job seekers. Here are the tips that readers found most helpful this year.

1. Ask for honest feedback. Recruit a trusted relative, career services staff member, professor or friend to assess you honestly as a job seeker. Ask the person to list your best qualities and most impressive accomplishments. On the flip side, ask for constructive feedback on your weaknesses. Find out if the things you’re most concerned about — lack of experience, a less-than-desirable GPA, shyness, etc. — are legitimate concerns or if you’re obsessing over nothing. If your fears are unfounded, let them go once and for all!

2. Don’t be turned off by the terms “internship” or “part-time.” This tip came from Lauren Porat, co-founder of UrbanInterns.com. In a difficult job market, sometimes you need to be flexible and “settle” for a less-than-perfect opportunity, such as a non-full-time job. According to Lauren, many people have developed incredible careers by serving multiple part-time clients. Also, starting out this way may allow you to get your foot in the door with some very cool, interesting startup companies.

3. Overprepare. Think about your confidence level when you walk into a test for which you’ve studied really thoroughly versus how you feel walking into a test for which you’ve skimmed your notes for ten minutes the night before. Most people don’t realize that a job hunt is something you can study for. Before attending a job fair, spend an hour or two on the websites of companies that will have booths. Before a job interview, spend an hour reading the organization’s website (especially the mission statement, recruiting pages and recent press releases) and study the LinkedIn profiles of the people who will be interviewing you. Read e-newsletters and blogs from your industry to keep up with current events that might be discussed at a networking event. The more preparation you do, the more confident you’ll feel when you interact with recruiters and other professionals you’ll encounter during your job search.

4. Do not ask to “pick someone’s brain.” Okay this one is more about how not to ask me in particular for advice on your job hunt (or anything for that matter!). Some people don’t mind this phrase, but I definitely do. Why? First of all, I think it sounds kind of gross (think about it). Second of all, it is very one-sided: if you are picking my brain, what’s in this conversation for me? It feels as if I’ll be left brainless afterwards. My advice is to always request advice in a way that makes the ask-ee feel respected and like he or she will leave the conversation with something, too.

5. Clean up your online image. According to a recent Microsoft survey, 85 percent of HR professionals responding said that positive online reputation influences their hiring decisions, and 70 percent said they have rejected candidates based on information they found online. Make no mistake about it: your online image will affect your job search and your career. If you haven’t already, set up strict privacy settings on all social networks (often, including on Facebook, the default setting is for all of your information to be public, so check every setting!), take down any inappropriate pictures or content, set up a 100 percent professional profile on LinkedIn and Google, and think twice before posting any new content on Facebook, Twitter or a blog. In many recruiters’ minds, you are what you post.

6. Spell recruiters’ and hiring managers’ names correctly. Of the emails I received responding to a part-time position I posted this year, about half (!) spelled my name wrong. To me, that was an instant sign that a candidate lacked attention to detail. None of these people were called for an interview.

7. Don’t be too early for a job interview. While we’ve all heard the advice never, ever to arrive late to a job interview, employers are equally peeved when you arrive too early. By all means get to the company’s building or parking lot as early as you’d like, but don’t enter the actual office any more than 15 minutes before your scheduled interview time.

8. Focus on what you can do for your employer, not the other way around.
In cover letters, email messages, conversations with recruiters, salary negotiations, etc., make sure you frame your value in terms of what you can offer, not what you need. Recruiters roll their eyes at cover letters that begin with, “I would like to find a position in which I can learn.” Likewise, negotiations fail when you ask for more money because, “I need it.” You’ll have a better chance of getting what you want when you focus your argument on how it will benefit the company in terms of increased sales, more productivity or lower costs. Always ask yourself, “What’s in it for them?”

9. Never call to say “Just following up.” There is a fine line between appropriate persistence and pointless pestering. It is absolutely fine to call or email a recruiter to say thank you for a company information session, to ask a few questions or to mention that you’ll be attending another event they are hosting. But “Just calling to follow up!” doesn’t add much to your candidacy. If you find yourself calling multiple times with no response, you may have to accept the fact that, as the famous dating book title says, this particular employer is just not that into you.

10. It’s never too late to say thank you. I’ve had a lot of students ask me “how late is too late to send a thank you note?” and I truly believe that a thank you is always warranted and always appreciated, even if it comes much later than expected. If you do find yourself sending a belated thank you, simply say something like, “I truly apologize for the delay in thanking you…” or “This note is late but I am deeply grateful…” It’s better to feel a bit awkward and do the right thing than to hope the person doesn’t notice that you never showed your gratitude.

What other job hunting tips were most helpful to you in 2010? Please share!

There are about 250,000 different “species” of jobs out there, and most of us only know about 200-300. In this segment, I speak with Matt Mahoney, founder of Daily Endeavor, about how college students and recent grads can explore the 99% of careers we never talk about. Here are some tips for finding the right career for you…even if it’s one your mom hasn’t heard of.

1) Start with your interests. Search by interests and what you like to do.
Don’t just focus on the field you think you want to explore. Don’t just focus on your major. Think about what you really, truly love to do.

Read the rest of this post on my “College to Career” blog at MyPath.com…

How do you feel about the fact that only a small percentage of careers are well-known? What has helped you in your career selection process?

All employers in all industries are seeking one major resume item: leadership.

Why is leadership so important?
Read the rest of this post on my “College to Career” blog at MyPath.com…

Some of Lauren’s tips for landing jobs/internships via Urban Interns:

* Don’t be turned off by the terms “internship” or “part-time”. Many people have developed incredible careers by serving multiple part-time clients. Also, starting out this way may allow you to get your foot in the door with some very cool, interesting startup companies.
* Think of the things you are good at, both personally and professionally. If you have years of experience with Facebook, even if you have only used it for your own relationships, you may qualify as a social media intern.

Read the rest of this post on my “College to Career” blog at MyPath.com…

How do you feel about the future of jobs, and do you have additional pointers that have helped you? Please share your comments below!

Last week’s post, “5 Simple But Brilliant Job Interview Strategies,” generated a lot of feedback, particularly from recruiters who told me how often job seekers make seemingly obvious mistakes such as spelling a recruiter’s name incorrectly. This reminded me of the fact that, as Voltaire famously said, “Common sense is not so common.”

So today I wanted to share some additional seemingly simple career tips that many job seekers overlook.

1. Use your career services office. College career centers have very helpful (and usually free) resources — exclusive job databases, resume workshops, mock interview sessions, career counseling, salary negotiation guidance and much more. If you’ve never visited your university’s career center (which is often available after you’ve graduated as well), you are seriously missing out.

2. Alter your search criteria. When you’ve searching for opportunities on jobs websites, don’t get stuck in a rut of using the same search terms over and over again. Dig deeper and expose yourself to more opportunities by expanding your search to new keywords (such as “communications” in addition to “public relations”), new sectors (such as government and nonprofit if you have been looking only at corporations) and further distances from your desired location (such as the San Fernando Valley if you’ve been looking in Los Angeles or Westchester County and New Jersey if you’ve been looking in New York City).

3. Set your Facebook profile to private. While you’re sitting at your computer searching for jobs, click over to your Facebook profile and make sure your privacy settings are set to the maximum. Many recruiters regularly check out candidates on Facebook, so even if you believe your profile is harmless, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

4. Check your messages. Particularly for a generation that’s known for being permanently connected to technology devices, there is no excuse for not returning a call or email within a few hours. Especially if you’re engaged in an active job hunt, check your messages frequently.

5. Don’t be too early for a job interview. While we’ve all heard the advice never, ever to arrive late to a job interview, employers are equally peeved when you arrive too early. By all means get to the company’s  building or parking lot as early as you’d like, but don’t enter the actual office any more than 15 minutes before your scheduled interview time.

6. Smile. I’m surprised at how many recruiters tell me that a smile really makes a difference at a job fair, networking event or interview. Even when you’re nervous, a genuine grin helps convince an employer that you’d be a good person to have around. So show those pearly whites!

What other common sense tips do you recommend? Please share!

“She has the ability to pass. It’s going to come down to whether she thinks she can pass.”

I failed.

My driving instructor was exactly right. I had practiced enough and had the skills and knowledge to get my license. What I was missing was the confidence to actually do it.

I see this same situation all the time with college students and recent grads in the job market. They have the talent, skills and ability to get a job, but they lack the self-confidence it takes to land a position, especially in the ultra-competitive market we’re experiencing right now.

If you’re struggling with self-confidence, here are some tips:

1. Ask for feedback. Recruit a trusted relative, career services staff member, professor or friend to assess you honestly. Often we don’t even realize our strongest assets because they come naturally to us. Ask the person to list your best qualities and most impressive accomplishments. On the flip side, ask for constructive feedback on your weaknesses. Find out if the things you’re most concerned about — lack of experience, a less-than-desirable GPA, shyness, etc. — are legitimate concerns or if you’re obsessing over nothing. If your fears are unfounded, let them go once and for all!

2. Take action on any gaps. If you do determine some important weaknesses, develop a game plan for improving the key skills, knowledge or qualities you’ll need to land the job you want. Take action! Sign up for a coaching session at your career services office, register for an e-course, read a few instructional books or hire a career coach or tutor. Besides gaining the skills you need, you’ll have a great answer to the interview question, “What is your biggest weakness?” You’ll be able to say, “I identified a key weakness and here are the steps I took to overcome it.”

3. Overprepare. Think about your confidence level when you walk into a test for which you’ve studied really thoroughly versus how you feel walking into a test for which you’ve skimmed your notes for ten minutes the night before. Most people don’t realize that a job hunt is something you can study for. Before attending a job fair, spend an hour or two on the websites of companies that will have booths. Before a job interview, spend an hour reading the organization’s website (especially the mission statement, recruiting pages and recent press releases) and study the LinkedIn profiles of the people who will be interviewing you. Read e-newsletters and blogs from your industry to keep up with current events that might be discussed at a networking event. The more preparation you do, the more confident you’ll feel when you interact with recruiters and other professionals you’ll encounter during your job search.

4. Seek out recommendations. One of my favorite features of LinkedIn is the opportunity to have people write recommendations that will appear on your profile. This not only strengthens your profile’s value but also reminds you of your best qualities. Ask for recommendations from former bosses, internship coordinators, professors, volunteer coordinators, students you’ve worked with on activities or other people you’ve known professionally or academically. Whenever you need a boost of confidence, go into your profile and read the good things other people have said about you.

What are the major hiring trends on campus this year? What are the best strategies for finding an entry-level job? What are the biggest mistakes students make in the job search process? To answer these questions and more, I’ll be speaking with Trudy Steinfeld, Executive Director of the Wasserman Center for Career Development at New York University, and Manny Contomanolis, Associate Vice President and Director of Co-op and Career Services at the Rochester Institute of Technology. Don’t miss the opportunity to hear top tips from two of the best career services professionals in the country!

BOTH: I will ask you each to introduce yourselves briefly.

BOTH: By all accounts the job market in the US is still terrible. How bad is it for students right now? Are you feeling optimistic about the Class of 2010?

BOTH: Both of you run top-tier career centers and I know that these offices today are busier than ever. What is your advice to students on how best to interact with their career centers to get the most out of this resource on their campuses?

TRUDY: Something you and I have talked about is the way students spend lots of time clicking through job sites and emailing their resumes “to whom it may concern” or “Dear Sir or Madam.” Can you talk a bit about why this is not a good strategy and what you recommend instead (networking)?

MANNY: Beyond networking, what are some other smart strategies for students looking to land internships or jobs? Maybe you can share some unique strategies or a story about a student who tried something different and had great results.

TRUDY: A question I’m hearing from students a lot lately is, “Should I settle for any job I can get because the economy is bad?” How would you answer that question?

MANNY: What about American students who want to work overseas? How is the international outlook? We hear so much about India and China — should students consider looking for jobs in those growing economies?

TRUDY: We often have parents listen in to this show. What is your advice for moms and dads who are worried about their kids finding jobs? Can parents do anything to help?

BOTH: Any final thoughts/words of wisdom?